Gates Offers Sporting Chance Grifters fans celebrated upon hearing the news that not one, but both of West Coast's MVP-candidate running backs would be taking the weekend off. General manager Jake Bell, however, felt the lack of LaDainian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson in the Mennonite line up would give his team an unfair advantage. "We're all about fair play," Bell insisted. "What is the value of a win if it comes against a diminished opponent?" Bell refused to address rumors that he'd made a bet with another GM shortly after this year's draft that West Coast would finish the season undefeated. To "even the playing field," Bell announced that tight end Antonio Gates would be held out of Sunday's game. "I think it's a great idea," Gates smiled. "It makes for a better all around game and I'll be able to wear pants with a zipper on them this weekend. It's a win-win." To further reduce his team's "unfair advantage," coach Brian Billick agreed to start struggling running back and former Mennonite Cadillac Williams. "I don't want to say he's on thin ice and liable to lose his starting spot if he doesn't have a big game," Billick said, "but that motherfucker better go for 300 yards and four touchdowns if he's planning to live up to my expectations for him this season." Later he added, "And would it kill him to catch a screen pass every so often?" Drew Brees Willis McGahee Cadillac Williams Chad Johnson Larry Fitzgerald Roy Williams Desmond Clark Adam Vinatieri Broncos