2007 Mock Draft
Less than a week from now, the Vegas Strip will be host a group of compulsive gamblers who will put everything they have on the line for two hours. The 2007 BFL Draft will once again see ten teams built in a matter of hours. Right now teams are thinking and rethinking their strategies, but I have it on good authority this is how the first two rounds will go down. Remember I predicted the 2005 and 2006 drafts with 100% Accuracy ("100% Accuracy" being the name of the moonshine I distill in the utility shed behind my house).
1. West Coast (via Bakerfield)
Retainees: Larry Johnson, Marvin Harrison
No surprise here. West Coast could have retained LaDainian Tomlinson but opted to let the reigning MVP and best Mennonite in team history (sorry, Cris Carter) go back in the pool so he could be reacquired for this and next year.
Selection: LaDainian Tomlinson
2. Athens
Retainees: Marc Bulger, Brian Westbrook, Thomas Jones
Jones squeezed onto the Athenian roster as the last named retainee of the 2007 season not because anyone expects anything great of him, but because the Woodchucks roster didn't really offer any better options. A return to playoff glory will require Jones to be the third (or fourth) option at running back. The second pick in the draft will be the best rusher remaining in a thin field.
Selection: Rudi Johnson
3. Seaside
Retainees: Tom Brady, Jerricho Cotchery, Lee Evans
Evans could be an All-BFL receiver this year, Brady is a perennial top 5 quarterback, and Cotchery was a surprise star who could continue to surprise in 2007, but the world's greatest passing game won't get you anywhere if you can't run the ball. Billy Dee was hoping to get former Squid Rudi Johnson here but will have to settle for another former Squid.
Selection: Edgerrin James
4. Sin City (via Mayberry)
Retainees: Drew Brees, Willis McGahee, Joseph Addai
The Grifters moved up knowing they had a solid backfield so they could build the passing game on the same foundation it's been built on for five years. Sin City takes back it's captain, Sr. Ocho Cinco.
Selection: Chad Johnson
5. Moose River
Retainees: Reggie Bush, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Jason Witten
The need for a rusher to compliment Reggie Bush means for the fourth time in five picks, a team uses its first pick to reacquire someone they just released to the draft pool.
Selection: Ronnie Brown
6. Toledo
Retainees: Frank Gore, Laurence Maroney, Marques Colston
The Neanderthal might make is five of six teams reacquiring players by going with Matt Hasselbeck here, but the quarterback's shoulder will likely drop him to the second or third round. Instead, look for the Cavemen to give their eventual quarterback a complimentary target to go with Colston.
Selection: Reggie Wayne
7. Mayberry (via Sin City)
Retainees: Travis Henry, Willie Parker, Larry Fitzgerald
A strong receiver pool and weak quarterback choices will have Mayberry looking for someone to take pressure off Larry Fitzgerald. Steve Smith gets the nod... and two days later will suffer a training camp injury that ends his season. What do you expect when you get drafted by the Fifes?
Selection: Steve Smith
8. West Virginia
Retainees: Carson Palmer, Shaun Alexander
Unable to understand why the most explosive receiver in the league is still on the board and with the most accurate quarterback in the league just itching to have someone to throw to, the Woolfs can't pass on Torry Holt.
Selection: Torry Holt
9. Bakersfield (via West Coast)
Retainees: Peyton Manning, Andre Johnson, Jeremy Shockey
Manning is pulling the trigger on this draft and as a quarterback, you can't seriously think he's going to pick someone he can hand off to when there are so many people he can throw to and pad his ridiculous stats.
Selection: Roy Williams
10. Springfield
Retainees: Steven Jackson
The reigning champs have gone with the always controversial decision to retain just one player. Granted, that player was MVP of the Bucco Bruce Bowl, but you might recall the last time a player was retained for a third year was when West Coast kept LaDainian Tomlinson, then reigning Bucco Bruce Bowl MVP, and went 0-13. Teams with third year retainees have averaged two wins per season and things are even worse when you're picking last and the cupboard is nearly bare.
Selection: Antonio Gates
11. Donald Driver - Springfield
12. Eli Manning - West Coast
13. Brandon Jacobs- West Virginia
14. Plaxico Burress - Sin City
15. Matt Hasselbeck - Toledo
16. Cadillac Williams - Moose River
17. Tony Romo- Mayberry
18. Todd Heap - Seaside
19. Javon Walker- Athens
20. Clinton Portis - Bakersfield
1. West Coast (via Bakerfield)
Retainees: Larry Johnson, Marvin Harrison
No surprise here. West Coast could have retained LaDainian Tomlinson but opted to let the reigning MVP and best Mennonite in team history (sorry, Cris Carter) go back in the pool so he could be reacquired for this and next year.
Selection: LaDainian Tomlinson
2. Athens
Retainees: Marc Bulger, Brian Westbrook, Thomas Jones
Jones squeezed onto the Athenian roster as the last named retainee of the 2007 season not because anyone expects anything great of him, but because the Woodchucks roster didn't really offer any better options. A return to playoff glory will require Jones to be the third (or fourth) option at running back. The second pick in the draft will be the best rusher remaining in a thin field.
Selection: Rudi Johnson
3. Seaside
Retainees: Tom Brady, Jerricho Cotchery, Lee Evans
Evans could be an All-BFL receiver this year, Brady is a perennial top 5 quarterback, and Cotchery was a surprise star who could continue to surprise in 2007, but the world's greatest passing game won't get you anywhere if you can't run the ball. Billy Dee was hoping to get former Squid Rudi Johnson here but will have to settle for another former Squid.
Selection: Edgerrin James
4. Sin City (via Mayberry)
Retainees: Drew Brees, Willis McGahee, Joseph Addai
The Grifters moved up knowing they had a solid backfield so they could build the passing game on the same foundation it's been built on for five years. Sin City takes back it's captain, Sr. Ocho Cinco.
Selection: Chad Johnson
5. Moose River
Retainees: Reggie Bush, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Jason Witten
The need for a rusher to compliment Reggie Bush means for the fourth time in five picks, a team uses its first pick to reacquire someone they just released to the draft pool.
Selection: Ronnie Brown
6. Toledo
Retainees: Frank Gore, Laurence Maroney, Marques Colston
The Neanderthal might make is five of six teams reacquiring players by going with Matt Hasselbeck here, but the quarterback's shoulder will likely drop him to the second or third round. Instead, look for the Cavemen to give their eventual quarterback a complimentary target to go with Colston.
Selection: Reggie Wayne
7. Mayberry (via Sin City)
Retainees: Travis Henry, Willie Parker, Larry Fitzgerald
A strong receiver pool and weak quarterback choices will have Mayberry looking for someone to take pressure off Larry Fitzgerald. Steve Smith gets the nod... and two days later will suffer a training camp injury that ends his season. What do you expect when you get drafted by the Fifes?
Selection: Steve Smith
8. West Virginia
Retainees: Carson Palmer, Shaun Alexander
Unable to understand why the most explosive receiver in the league is still on the board and with the most accurate quarterback in the league just itching to have someone to throw to, the Woolfs can't pass on Torry Holt.
Selection: Torry Holt
9. Bakersfield (via West Coast)
Retainees: Peyton Manning, Andre Johnson, Jeremy Shockey
Manning is pulling the trigger on this draft and as a quarterback, you can't seriously think he's going to pick someone he can hand off to when there are so many people he can throw to and pad his ridiculous stats.
Selection: Roy Williams
10. Springfield
Retainees: Steven Jackson
The reigning champs have gone with the always controversial decision to retain just one player. Granted, that player was MVP of the Bucco Bruce Bowl, but you might recall the last time a player was retained for a third year was when West Coast kept LaDainian Tomlinson, then reigning Bucco Bruce Bowl MVP, and went 0-13. Teams with third year retainees have averaged two wins per season and things are even worse when you're picking last and the cupboard is nearly bare.
Selection: Antonio Gates
11. Donald Driver - Springfield
12. Eli Manning - West Coast
13. Brandon Jacobs- West Virginia
14. Plaxico Burress - Sin City
15. Matt Hasselbeck - Toledo
16. Cadillac Williams - Moose River
17. Tony Romo- Mayberry
18. Todd Heap - Seaside
19. Javon Walker- Athens
20. Clinton Portis - Bakersfield
posted by Jake at 9:34 PM
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