LAS VEGAS--With four wins under their belt, Sin City is thinking playoffs. "The way I see it, we have to make the postseason so Drew Brees can be MVP," explained owner Jake Bell. "Otherwise, who the hell else can possibly win it? Jay Cutler? What does it say about our league if no one finishes with more than eight wins and our MVP is Jay Cutler? We'll be a laughing stock." A win against Bakersfield this weekend, would position the Grifters just a game out of a postseason berth. Drew Brees DeAngelo Williams Earnest Graham (DNS Deuce McAllister) Donnie Avery Anthony Gonzalez Lance Moore Kellen Winslow Robbie Gould Panthers

Trying to Stop the Bleeding

Although it would be kinda humorous to see every team in the league finish 7-6 or 6-7, I'm gonna hope that my guys can get on a little late run here.

QB- Kurt Warner
RB- Brian Westbrook
RB- Chris Johnson
WR- Anquan Boldin
WR- Marques Colston
WR- Eddie Royal
TE- Jason Witten
PK- Matt Prater
DF- Titans

Cavemen Return to the Glass Bowl

A throng of rabid BFL fans met the Neanderthal plane when it landed at Toledo Express Airport this week following last week's nail biter in Athens. The team completed it's road season with a 4-3 record and is looking forward to the next three weeks at home against the Mounties, Grifters and the Woolfs.

Noticeably missing on the flight was Jay Feely who was primarily responsible for last week victory when he was the highest scoring kicker in the league during his season debut with the team. "Something about not having his passport." explained General Manager, Tonda. "He thought we were just going to Southwest Ohio. Confused the Woodchuck with the Bobcat. Anyhow he won't be available this week so we signed David Akers to take his spot on the roster. We also resigned Kevin Boss and waived Antonio Pittman."

Among the crowd that welcomed the team and this week's guest of honor invitee of team owner, Gene Bell, was ledgendary TV, movie and Broadway performer John Mahoney. Mahoney will lead the game day parade from the Seagate Center to the Glass Bowl and will be on hand all week to lead inspiration to the team as the year of Marty continues.

Coach Marty announced this weeks lineup:

QB Phillip Rivers
RB Frank Gore
RB Jamal Lewis
REC Greg Jennings
REC Santana Moss
REC DeSean Jackson
TE Tony Scheffler (dnp Scaife)
K David Akers
DEF New York Football Giants

Goin back to Vega$... I think so.

No time to whip up a clever story this week.... I am off to Vegas again to celebrate my birthday! Chris... Since I am playing you this week and I will be in Vegas playing Rapid Roulette, I will be tipping my hat to you every time I get a freee drink and I plan on getting a lot of them! In honor of Ten High, I will have a minimum of 10 drinks tomorrow. Cheers! Now on to Business... here is the rest of the Squid Line-up.....

QB- Cutler

RB- Portis (DNP- Kevin Smith)
RB- Matt Forte

WR- T.O.
WR- Brandon Marshall
WR- Steve Breaston

TE- Todd Heap (DNP- Alge Crumpler)

PK- Gostkowski (Already played and nabbed me 13 points!)

D- JAX

Kickin' good time

The Squid start Tom Bra.... Awww Damn.... still out.

Steven Gostkowski is a good enough replacement if you multiplied his points by 10.

The squid start their Kicker against the Fifes!

One man against a whole town! One foot versus One Bullet. Who will win?

Thurs Start

Randy Moss for Athens.

Coles Starts Early

Coles Starts on Thursday

Scrambling to Catch up

I didn't even know that deal I had proposed to Ryan was accpeted, so I'm WAAAYYY behind the curve. Okay. Um.

Warner
Westbrook
Chris Johnson
Boldin
Colston
Heath Miller
Scobee
Titans
(Braylon Edwards already played and sucked eggs.)

Last Minute Trade Changes Line-Up

Holey Moley! What a deal! The Bakersfield Performing Circus Bears gave up a lot to acquire Marshawn Lynch, but with the status of our current group of runningbacks mostly sitting on the bench during gametime, we needed somebody.

(Ah, who are we kidding, this was all about getting what will hopefully be the first pick in next year's draft to maintain the rights to Peyton Manning. Keep sucking Mounties!)

The official line on out end of the deal looks like this:

Acquire RB Marshawn Lynch; Waive TE L.J. Smith
Acquire Moose River's 1st round pick in the 2009 draft in exchange for Bakersfield's 1st, 4th, and 5th round picks, and returning the rights to Moose River's 4th round pick. Whoo! That's a lot, but all in all it means losing two draft picks to (fingers crossed) retain Peyton Manning.

Now that all that's sorted out, we have a substitution for this week's line-up:

RB- Marshawn Lynch in for Dominic Rhodes

Unless of course the trade gets nixed by the League Offices, in which case Rhodes is still in.

Fifes Week 10 Lineup

QB --- Eli Manning
RB --- Mike Turner
RB --- Maurice Jones-Drew
WR --- Reggie Wayne
WR --- Hines Ward
WR --- Jerricho Cotchery
TE --- Tony Fasano
K ----- Mason Crosby
D ----- New England

Moose River Fire Sale, Finally Completes

Right up until the deadline, Khan was busy working the phones, Fiber optic lines, and any other form of communiocation he could get his hands on. Due to his incapacitation last night, he was unable to post the results of these deals until this morning. 4 seperate deals work out this way:

1. Moose River- West Virginia
WV Receives: Kurt Warner, Jason Witten
MR Receives: Marshawn Lynch, Roddy White, Zach Miller, Bucs Defense

2. Moose River- Mayberry
MAY Receives: Bucs Defense
MR Receives: MAY 5th round pick in 2009 Draft

3. Moose River- Bakersfield
BAK Receives: Marshawn Lynch, MR 1st Round Pick in 2009 Draft
MR Receives: BAK 1st, 4th, 5th Round pick in 2009 Draft, Plus receives rights back to MR 4th rd pick (BAK acquired in Kurt Warner Trade)

4. Moose River- Springfield
SPR Receives: Calvin Johnson
MR Receives: SPR 3rd Round Pick in 2009 Draft

All of this, and Moose River had to field a team this week:

QB: Sage Rosenfels
RB: Thomas Jones
RB: Steve Slaton
WR: Torry Holt
WR: Amani Toomer
WR: Roddy White
TE: Zach Miller
D: Falcons
K: Matt Stover

Squid in Shambles after transportation incident.

Fear of Foam leads to Further Fracturing Its a mad, mad, mad, mad dash to beat the Woolfs. Much like the follies of the beloved "Planes, Trains and Automobiles", the Seaside Squid was left splintered this week as the team tried to make it to West Virginia to play the Woolfs. It started when the team plane, Tentacle One had engine trouble and had to reroute to Denver on Tuesday. Home Base then immediately dispatched Tentacle Two, the Charter bus to pick up the team and make the rest of the drive. But due to a power outage, QB Jay Cutler and WR Brandon Marshall, got left behind. T.O. Refused to ride the bus, stating that he was "Just too pretty" to ride the Bus and that he had no further comment. He said that he would wait for a first class ticket and the next flight out. he then proceeded to give lessons from his new exercise book. Clinton Portis was in the Toilet after eating too much at the breakfast buffet and missed the bus as well. Cutler, being an avid Hot Air Balloonist, Rented a balloon and proceeded to fly he and Marshall towards West Virginia. At the next stop the Bus took, Team Doctor, Rex Morgan, departed, rented a car and drove back to Denver to Examine, Portis and treat his bad food poisoning, discovering it was not from the breakfast buffet but from a strange concoction, of Vanilla Vodka, Rum, Whiskey, Chocolate Pudding and Cashews that he had eaten the night before. The Bus was making good time until it too encountered troubles when the bus caught fire Fred Taylor tried to pop popcorn in the microwave with a jiffy-pop stovetop popper. The team then resorted to riding on Horseback when the bus pulled over near a ranch in Ohio. Not wanting to cure any further disfavor they rode the rest of the way there. Cutler and Marshall ending up beating everyone there and got the game started early. TO has still not showed but there is a rumor he is still giving fitness lessons from his book in Terminal 3 of Sky Harbor. Portis was taken back to AZ for decontamination. Everything else seemed fine until Reggie Bush freaked out at the sight of West Virginias Muppets and busted his ankle trying to flee the area. So.... the line-up looks as thus: QB- Cutler and WR- Marshall (previously called into the line-up to Jake) RB- Matt Forte, and Kevin Smith WR- Steve Breaston, and Justin Gage TE- Todd Heap (DNP- Alge Crumpler) PK- Steve Gostkowski D- JAX

Atoms....like a deer in the crosshairs

On my way out the door to try and treat a little of my buck fever...The Mennonites wish a belated birthday to the best ex-brother-in-law I've ever had!...and heres the lineup too

QB: Delhomme

RB: Tomlinson and Peterson

WR: Fitzgerald, Smith, and Coles

TE: Owen Daniels

PK: Kris Brown

Defense: Philly

Week Ten Already?!

Wow, this season is flying by! Sigh... Sunrise, sunset... dydle dydle dye...

The Bakersfield Performing Circus Bears are always excited when the Mayberry Fifes come to visit. When they go on the road, the Fifes are sent with the best homemade lunches which they're always willing to trade for pudding. We give away our pudding for free, but these lunches are so delicious (fried chicken, dill pickles, apple pie mmmmm mmm, now that's good eatin'!) how could we refuse a trade?

Hopefully the players stuffing their faces with such rich foods won't negatively effect their performance today, as the Circus Bears try to move one step closer to returning to the promised land.

QB- Peyton Manning
RB- Brandon Jacobs
RB- Dominic Rhodes
WR- Andre Johnson
WR- Donald Driver
WR- Marvin Harrison
TE- Dallas Clark
K- Neil Rackers
D- Baltimore

Atoms Week 10 Lineup

Deal Sends Calvin Johnson From Moose River to Springfield In whatever the opposite of a "blockbuster trade" is the Springfield Atoms and the Moose River Mounties agreed to terms that would bring Wide Receiver Calvin Johnson over to Springfield for a third round pick in the 2009 BFL draft. To make room on their roster, the Atoms will release running back Andre Hall. The ink was barely dry on the contract when on Thursday Atoms head coach, Barry Alvarez announced that Johnson would be suited up in the Purple and Canary this weekend, and would get the start. Alvarez noted that the new Wide Receiver would fit right in, given his inconsistent performance, which is at least as streaky as any other Atoms player in that position this year. In other Atoms news, Marion Barber is scheduled for a rectal exam and has been pulled from the starting lineup this week. Barber complained of pain following his dismal performance in last week's loss to Bakersfield. Team physicians suspect that during the exam they will find Barber's head securely lodged up there, and believe that they will be able to extract it prior to next week's game. Starting Lineup this week: QB: Aaron Rodgers RB: Julius Jones RB: Justin Fargas? WR: Lee Evans WR: Bernard Berrian WR: Calvin Johnson TE: Tony Gonzalez K: John Carney D: Seahawks